Archived Everest News

May 5 through May 16, 2004

Return to the Mountain News page for stories from Marshall's summit push on Mount Everest May 17 through May 25, 2004.

If you'd like to make a donation to the Religious Teachers Filippini in recognition of Marshall's successful Everest climb, please see the Fundraising page.

See the Mountaineering page for general information about Marshall's Quest for the Seven Summits.

See the Clothing page for ordering information for all Stray Dogs clothing, including Everest '04 hats and T-shirts.

Celebration and Support – Xegar , Tibet. Sunday, May 16, 2004

Last night we had a bit of celebration with Dmitry and Luda in the room next to ours. Dmitry had found a watermelon in Xegar and brought it back to the hotel. We also had Luda 's husband, Yuri, and Victor (both from the national team) over and we devoured the melon. It seemed to be strange eating watermelon in what is early spring, when farmers are just getting their fields prepared. The farmers have greenhouses of sorts where they raise vegetables much of the year, and the melon either came from one of those greenhouses, or was brought in from…who knows where (see the photo, courtesy of David, in the May 15th update).

For a treat we all ate "after five" dinner mints and, as we were eating them, we found out that Yuri had carried them to 7,500 meters (24,606 feet) high on Everest and brought them down for us to share in, which is a Russian tradition: you are supposed to take some food up the mountain with you and then bring it down the mountain to eat. He said that they "are a gift from the mountain fox" and, when eaten, are sure to bring good luck. I certainly appreciated the effort, as well as the mint, and a bit of good luck can never hurt!

So today is the last day that we will be in Xegar. David and I slept in today, knowing that this would be the last day for awhile that we would be able to actually sleep in…much less just sleep! Tomorrow morning we must get everything ready and leave about mid-morning for the trip back to Base Camp.

I spent most of the day looking around the shops of Xegar and had a rather frustrating time of it in the Internet café. I lost one e-mail to Heather and had to retype it, only to type an update for today, which go lost somewhere in cyberspace. The proprietor of the café said that things went down in Lhasa just in time for me not to be able to successfully send the e-mail that this is replacing. So, I wasted at least an hour-and-a-half. Lucky for me there wasn't much else to do? Isn't that always the case?

Marshall and David, begging(?) in Xegar.

Maybe they need to get back on the mountain?!

(Photo credit: David D'Angelo)

Tomorrow, I'm sure, I will begin to contemplate climbing Everest and how, of if, I will be able to accomplish it. Still doubts well up in my mind. I wonder how I will fare, and wonder if some of the choices I have made (as far as acclimation and rest) have been good ones. I was following the recommendations of experienced climbers, so I trust they were good choices. One thing is clear: it helps to have all of the undying support from friends at home.

Speaking of undying support…just one of the people that comes to mind is Theresa Daus-Weber. I have been thinking a lot about her lately. She is the epitome of a person that provides undying support. She arranges training runs for a large group of runners, never asking for anything in return. She crews and paces for numerous runners (including me) at various events around the country. Her joy is seeing others accomplish their goals. Through the years she has offered her support to me and countless others, even when difficult situations arose within her own life. I should also mention that she was supportive of Heather several years ago, when she was recovering from a long term illness and divorce, and helped her to get into a training program (just walking) and overall healthier lifestyle. Last not least, she introduced me to Heather (my beautiful wife).

In Theresa's heart she just wants others to realize their goals. And unselfishly gives of herself.

So, when I am in the thick of climbing Mount Everest , it is people such as Theresa, and others that I have mentioned in previous updates, that will offer the silent encouragement that I will be playing and replaying in my mind. This will, no doubt, be another motivating factor giving me "a helping hand" up Mount Everest.

Rest and Motivation, Xegar. Saturday, May 15, 2004

I have one more day, Sunday, to rest before we go back to base camp and start thinking about the summit attempt on Everest. Not that it hasn't been ever present on my mind! My sickness seems to have left (dodged a bullet there), and I am feeling more and more rested. I didn't even get up until about 9:00 this morning after sleeping about 10 hours.

As reported on David's Web site, some of the Russian
members of the team brought watermelon for everyone to share.

(Photo credit: David D'Angelo)

Still I have great insecurities and doubts about whether or not I can actually get to the top of Mound Everest. David and I hitch hiked to Xegar again today and we hiked to the top of the mountain above town, which is over a thousand foot climb. It felt pretty good, but I guess I was expecting it to be easy. So the mind games continue. Questions such as: am I recovered, do I feel strong, will I be able to perform at altitude, and on and on. How does one shut the mind off? I think the answers will unfold as we go along and, more than anything, I need to be accepting of myself, know my limitations, and not talk myself out of anything. Ultimately all I have to do the best that I can…with safety being my top concern.

One thing is for sure, when Heather (my wife) and her father arrive at base camp it will be like a big security blanket for me. This time away from her has pointed out to me how much I love and depend on her. After my kids and my wife, everything else pales. At any rate, I know that she probably worries that she will be a distraction; but quite the opposite, she will be a very motivating factor helping me up the mountain with every breath I take (no matter how thin the air is). What a wonderful feeling it is to have someone love me unconditionally. It brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.

The other thing that I am eternally grateful for is the support that I have gotten from home from so many of you. Heather keeps me up on all that is happening, and sends along all of your messages letting me know that you are thinking for me and wishing me well…as well as your support for the children we are trying to help. That is another factor that makes it all worthwhile.

So, while I am sitting in that tent, claustrophobic and wanting to scream, I will think about everyone, and that will be the calming factor that will see me through!

Attack of the Chicken, Xegar , Tibet . Friday, May 14, 2004

Last night I had a chicken dish that seemed to go beyond the call of duty of just providing nourishment. During the night I was up at least three times with dysentery. Go figure. I'm not for sure that is was the chicken that caused it but, nonetheless, the effects were familiar. Fortunately, I had a sit down toilet to comfort the effects of it all, and a warm bed to climb into during the night. Other than that unforeseen, unfortunate mishap, I actually slept rather well.

Throughout this morning I was very cautious about what I ate and drank. It is evening now, and I feel okay (knock on wood!). So, it is unlike some of the travelers' variety that I have experienced in the past, as it appears to be over with. Great…so, bring on the food! After all, I was always taught that if you got "bucked off a horse" the only way to get over that fear was to "get right back on."

In addition to taking it a bit easy during the morning, David and I took a walk toward Xegar during the afternoon. It is about four and a half miles and usually we get our unorthodox rides within the first half mile. This time we had to walk almost the entire distance before we were picked up about half a mile from Xegar, which was okay because, after all, we really needed the walk! 

Just like last night, this evening, before turning in (and getting sick), I walked up and down the main street of Dingry. Well, it's really the only street in Dingry, with the exception of the street to Xegar that intersects it in about the middle of town. The stars were out in such brilliance that they lit up the sky and you could make out constellations. The trees are starting to shoot leaves, and the temperatures here are mostly above freezing at night, with pleasant temperatures in the 60's and 70's during the day.

We now have a couple of days of rest left, Saturday and Sunday, before we return to base camp on the 17th. I have been sleeping at least 10 hours a night and now finally seem to be getting "caught up." As for my conditioning, I question that at all times. By doing very little, I feel like I am losing shape. I think that the only way to tell will be when I get back on the mountain and am headed up to ABC. That will be the first test. Then, it will be on to the three higher camps and then the final summit push. It is frightening to me to think that I won't be able to do it. And then there is the aspect of favorable weather. So many factors to consider. Whatever is to happen, it will definitely unfold within the next two weeks.

Rest in Xegar. Thursday, May 13, 2004

Last night lying in a real bed felt a bit peculiar, but awesome. I woke during the night once, and then slept soundly. I do believe it is the best nights' sleep that I have had in a month! Not to mention the food. David and I have been eating mostly chicken and pork dishes and enjoying some vegetables. What a novel idea…vegetables. Never thought I would say that word with fondness (and hunger). It is really good to have a variety of food, and I am beginning to feel rested.

So, after breakfast we hitch hiked into Xegar again in the back of a dump truck. We have come to the conclusion that our rules for rides will be: we will not except a ride in cars or four wheel drive vehicles, but will ride in just about anything else. So far we have ridden in trucks (front and back) and a trailer pulled by a tractor. We have yet to ride in a horse pulled trailer or a three wheeled tractor like dump truck, but we're hopeful. It makes for interesting rides and the local people love it.

In Xegar today I got my hair cut for $1.25, and got a one hour massage for about $7.00. The people are very helpful but speak very little, if any, English.

Later on we came back to the hotel, ate, and then walked around the small town of Dingry . There is a great amount of building taking place here and I am assuming it is because of the tourism that Mount Everest brings in. Women and men work hand in hand first laying a rock foundation. Next, adobe bricks are made and mortared in with wooden windows, beams, and roofs, making up the majority of the structure. They are then coated with a stucco type mud, painted, and then decorative details follow. They are really quite beautiful structures when completed.

Men, women, and children all work together
to build a new home in Xegar, Tibet.

(Photo credit: David D'Angelo)

As night began to fall, the sun cast and orange glow illuminating the horizon, reminding me of the pristine solitude of a Death valley landscape where, in places, the flat desert floor gives rise to undulating hills that make a person feel small in the universe.  It was really quite calming.

It was dusky and then dark. The stars came out, and it was amazingly beautiful.  Because it is a new moon, it was almost pitch dark and, with the exception of a few dogs barking, remarkably quite.  

Although all of these things—interesting rides, cheap hair cuts, and calmness of the night—distract me from climbing Everest, they are welcome at this time. Soon enough, we will be on our way back to base camp and will be preoccupied with the everyday tasks of climbing, higher and higher.

I spoke with Heather today. She has returned from a trip with her parents to Seoul , South Korea , where she was visiting her sister and brother-in-law. In less than a week, she (along with her father) will make the long journey to base camp. Her support, and the support of her family, means everything to me. I am also thankful to have the support of many, many others…for my climbing, and especially for the fundraising or the kids.

Dingry (Xegar), Tibet - Qomolangma Hotel. Wednesday, May 12, 2004

This morning at about 10 a.m., David, Artur, Dmitry, Luda (the base camp manager), and I caught a ride approximately 75 miles into Dingry, which is essentially Xegar. It felt very different to be headed away from Everest and all the concerns that I have been pre-occupied with for the last month or so while we have been on the mountain. It is also amazing that being at over 17,000 feet in Base Camp, and being even higher on Everest, really did begin to feel normal. Now that we are down to approximately 14,000 feet, there doesn't seem to be much difference.

I'm sure the next few days will allow a certain amount of recovery and allow me to gain some strength, which is what we are all looking for. Just last night I was able to sleep through the night with waking up only once! A couple of nights ago, when we had just arrived back at base camp, I would sleep for an hour or two and then wake up in a fright not knowing where I was and what I was doing. I would eventually fall back asleep, repeating the process over and over again.

After we arrived back at the hotel (the same one we had stayed in on April 15th and 16th on our way to BC for the first time), we had an awesome chicken dinner. The food we have been eating at camp has been okay, but consists mainly of rice, potatoes, and limited amounts of meat. We have been eating lots of eggs for breakfast at BC, so we were getting some protein there. But, for the most part, we have been short on the protein and everyone's muscles are shrinking. I hope to put some weight back on as I'm sure that I have lost more than a few pounds.

David and I hitched a ride to Xegar, which is about five miles away, on a dump truck and discovered that the town is relatively upscale. I stumbled onto an Internet café, much to my surprise. When we asked to use the computers, they said, "Sure, pick anyone you like." With that we sat down and seemingly the computers didn't work at all. Well, within a minute or two this wasn't the case, as the café manager went around back and fired up a generator, and away we went.

After checking the town out further, we hitched a ride back on a small tractor that had a wagon that it was pulling full with local workers and school kids. It kind of reminded me of back in the 60's when we would try and see how many we could cram in a VW Beetle. A lot!

A typical ride to Xegar, Tibet.
The local people are wonderful!

(Photo credit: David D'Angelo)

So tonight we will relax at the hotel and eat some more good food. Thoughts of Everest are always there and I keep thinking to myself that I need to be doing something. But as my wife, Heather, reminded me: doing nothing in this case IS doing something, recovering and preparing for a summit attempt. When I get back to BC (on May 17th) and start up the mountain again, it will be interesting to see if things will work out as planned. For now, I am just going to enjoy a real bed and a (sometimes) lukewarm shower.

Base Camp and Next Steps. Tuesday, May 11, 2004  

Today we are resting at Base Camp. Tomorrow David, Artur, Dmitry, Luda (the base camp manager), and I will travel down to 13,780 feet to Xegar for a five day rest until the 17th of May.

Weather
It has been a sunny beautiful day down here at 17,000 feet with the winds kicking up on the mountain in the afternoon. Much different than the conditions at ABC. Ilya and Arkadiy arrived in BC about 3:00 p.m. and announced that the last couple of days it was nearly impossible to get to North Col. While they did make an attempt, the winds were too high. And, the winds are not forecasted to ease until later in the week. Dilmurad has chosen to stay at ABC and wait for the weather to break to make a trip to Camp 1 at the North Col, spend the night, then try to reach 7,500 meters the next day.

Last Friday, based on the weather reports and talking to other teams on the mountain, we had thought that the window would close, and we made our dash to Camp 1 and climb above the North Col. We were fortunate in being able to get above the North Col when the weather was good. Now it looks like the next window of good weather will be in two to three days.

Overall, the weather hasn't been cooperating terribly well. Ropes are not set beyond Camp 3, meaning that no one will be able to make it up the First and Second Step to the summit.

We also got news that the Russian National Team has hit a wall somewhere around 24,000 to 25,000 feet and, because of the difficulty of setting ropes and lack of time, they may not be able to continue higher on the Central North Route. Rather they may traverse over to the top half of a more traditional route and continue on up. Even if they have to go with "plan B," it would still qualify as a new route as two-thirds of it had never been attempted. What will actually happen for the team is yet to been seen.

Everyone is feeling good and seems to be blessed with good health so far. No big problems: knock on wood.

Beatniks, Mountaineers, and Miners
Sitting in my tent, I borrowed and started reading "The Dharma Bums" by Jack Kerouac. He was one of the original Zen Beatniks who traveled the country backpacking. Some of the places he described in the California Sierras are very familiar and make me long for the alpine environment and pine trees of Colorado. Of course this guy was "on the cutting edge" of free thinking that brought on the Beatnik era - way before the hippies even thought of inhabiting the foothills of Boulder and Los Angeles.

It is interesting reading, as back in the early fifties I remember watching Dobie Gillis and his friend Maynard G. Krebs. Maynard was a Beatnik, and Dobie was the straight guy. It was just too funny - the interaction between the two.

At any rate, it brought back familiar memories and, when I watch the climbers here, and speak with them, it seems like a mix of lost souls, wanna-be mountaineers, the serious athletes who are here because they love the sport, just everyday Joe Blows, etc., etc. Which category do I fit into? I'm sure that depends on who you ask! More than anything, it just says to me that things haven't changed a whole lot. Everybody had different agendas back in the early days of the Beatnik generation, just as they do today.

Then I think about the miners who settled areas such as Central City, or Idaho Springs (which is home to me) in Colorado. They are real heroes. A little inconvenience for me was a way of life for them. This becomes painfully apparent when I wander the graveyards of some of the old mining towns to discover "old age" was maybe 45 to 50 years old—and many of the tombstones are simple markers for babies who died at birth or shortly there after.

The stories that could have been told if only these hearty folks weren't busy just trying to survive.

Seems to me that we are lucky to be born into the country that we live in, and in the time we do. A place and time when we have so many luxuries and conveniences. Others in the world are not as fortunate. For them, my heart goes out.

Captions (Photo credit: David D'Angelo, except #3). All photos posted on May 11, 2004.

1. Nuru, one of our sherpas inside the kitchen tent at ABC
2. That's me in the blue goggles on the North Wall
3. Inside the kitchen tent at ABC just after Marshall and I arrived from the 7-hour hike from BC. That's Pemba on the left, Chingma, Myla, and Nuru next to me. Courtesy of Marshall.
4. Climbing up the North Col
5. Back in BC after climbing to 7500m
6. Sunrise at the Col, see how it drops off to the right, it drops several thousand feet - be sure to clip into that rope when you use the facilities.
7. Looking above Camp I. That hump on the upper right is the summit. You see that yellow tent on the left? There's a kind of hourglass shaped chunk of snow going up to the left of it that meets the rocks. That's the route, where they intersect is about 7500m
8. Our sherpas, Pemba, Nuru, and Dorje chilling at ABC. The day before they hauled to Camp II proper, 7800m, tents, bags, and oxygen. A well deserved rest.
9. You see those black dots? Those are climbers on the North Col.

Back at BC. Monday, May 10, 2004

Ventricular clouds were hanging over Mount Everest as we awoke this morning. These are striated high clouds that form around, and linger, at the summit of major high mountains. They normally serve as reminders of upcoming (usually a day or two in advance) bad weather. They are beautiful in one way, and if someone is unsuspecting, or has had little mountaineering experience, may hypnotize a person into thinking that they are there just for the beauty that they are.

My Clouds
The clouds made me think about the days before we made our last hike up to ABC, then Camp 1, and above the North Col. How it was just the task at hand that loomed in the future. How one can forget about the altitude and the physical challenge that climbing Everest presents. I was presumptuous in thinking that the more that I did, the better shape I was getting myself into. When, indeed, I was weakening and not recovering from all that I had been doing.

I try and say to myself that I have been listening to my body. But the "ventricular clouds" that were brewing within me were trying to tell me something while I chose to believe that all was well. Although I have been trying to, in the future I must listen more to those who have had more experience with high altitude mountaineering. This is a whole new ball game, especially at this altitude. I have been fooled into thinking that "the old rules" that I have been playing by apply in this situation.

So far, that has been my biggest mistake: playing by those old rules. Hopefully this has just been a slight mistake, which I will be able to recover from, as I seem to be feeling stronger today.

Health Update
I have been blessed with my health—when at least half of the team have suffered from one ailment or another. Numerous sore throats, burned fingers (from the stoves we are using above ABC), muscle spasms of the neck and legs, blood in the stool, coughing, aching lungs, liver swelling, malaria reoccurrence, diarrhea, and various stomach disorders are to name a few. Most have been nothing more than minor setbacks, so far. As I look back over the last several weeks, I realize that we have been very fortunate. Except for Giorgio and Gianni leaving to return home to Italy.

Summit Groups

We have determined that there will be three climbing groups to make summit attempts. Each group will be composed three people, and we've identified the members of each team. The first will be Alex, Dmitry, and Artur. They will leave on or about the 20th for a summit day around the 24th or 25th. Our group, which will be comprised of Pemba (my Sherpa), David, and I, will be next. We will leave on or about on the 23rd, for a summit day on or about the 27th or 28th. Then last, but certainly not least, will be the third group comprised of is Ilya, Arkadiy, and Dilmurad. They will leave on or about the 26th for a summit day around the 30th or 31st. Of course, all of the dates are contingent on weather and health.

The Sherpa members of the Russian Adventure Team:
Pemba (who will accompany Marshall to the summit),
Nuru, and Dorje enjoying a well-earned rest before hauling
tents, sleeping bags, and oxygen to Camp 2 on May 11, 2004

(Photo credit: David D'Angelo)

The rest of today I will spend cleaning out my tent, which has a month's worth of dust that has blown in with the winds. It's amazing how fast time can go, as I seem to keep myself occupied. If we do decided to head down to a lower elevation, I will look forward to trying to forget about Everest and all that is involved climbing her. There will be plenty of time to obsess about climbing as the days draw closer when the time will come (weather permitting) to go for our summit attempt.

Back at ABC, and Descent to BC. Sunday, May 9, 2004

I definitely slept a bit better last night. Motivating me throughout yesterday, and for today, will be the fact that we will be back down at Base Camp late this afternoon.

The last two days has reduced me in strength as I can't believe. My leg muscle mass has decreased, and the more I do, the more the muscle tissue shrinks.

Mountain Men
On the Stray Dogs Adventure Racing Team there are two real mountain men. What I mean by mountain men certainly isn't the kind of person who brags about what they can do. They go out and do it in style, and then move on to another extraordinary goal.

Adrian Crane is one of those people. I have been racing with, and sometimes against in certain competitions, Adrian for more than 10 years. Over the last couple of years, I have really enjoyed racing with him. Not that I didn't enjoy racing with Adrian in the past but, I think for him (and probably for me) there is not so much to "prove" anymore. No real agenda. We can just enjoy each others company and personality quirks.

Mark Macy is the other person I consider a real mountain man. He has always set a good example for me, as well as others. Completely devoted to his wife and family, everything else is secondary. And as if that isn't enough, this guy can move up a hill like you can't believe. It's almost like watching a Sherpa. They can carry four times the load at a faster speed up a hill. I have always been humbled when I train and race with Mace. But it isn't that he lets you know about him being a better at climbing at all. Quite the contrary. He has nothing but patience and compassion for those around him. He is secure enough with himself to make those around him feel valuable. And that is a tribute to him.

So, I think about Mace and how well he would do on these hills. On some level, I am jealous of his abilities, but on another encouraged. I think that, like so many times before, that he is with me offering encouragement—and offering hope. Hope that I can get to the top and attain my goal. Sometimes the hope is offered by bull shifting me but, almost without fail, helping me attain positive results.

Of all people, Mark is the one that deserves to be on this mountain (if that is what he wishes), just by virtue of him being a great outstanding human being. But he wouldn't think of it, as he is realizing his goals along side his wife Pam. So, I think about that too—how I can be a better person, striving to be a bit like him.

Sherpa
Before we headed out down the mountain to BC, I discussed with Alex the prospect of my Sherpa. While I have not used a personal Sherpa to date, leaving all of the Sherpas to help the entire team, during the summit days, I will rely on him. Of all three Sherpas, I don't believe that one is better than another. They, like all of us in the world, have their strengths and weaknesses. But, given the circumstances and watching them over the past few weeks, I have come to the conclusion that Pemba will be the Sherpa I will use. Pemba is probably, physically, the strongest of the Sherpas and, at the tender age of about 28, has two Everest summits. When I approached him and asked him if he "would accompany me to the top," he immediately grinned from ear to ear and said YES!! As we left camp, Pemba sat by his tent praying, thinking, I'm sure, of things to come.

Descent to Base Camp

Having recovered somewhat (if there is such a thing at this altitude), I am enjoying following David down the trail. Vladamir is in front of us, Dmitry and Artur behind. The hours and miles fall beneath my feet, and for now the concerns of not being able to reach 7,500 meters are behind me. It is as if those thoughts never existed.

But, I can't help but think that maybe I won't be able to scale this mountain. Over the next week-and-a-half of rest, I must reconcile all of these thoughts in my mind. Put them in the right perspective, as I have had to do so many times before.

Alex is at ABC today, having slept at the North Col last night and returning to ABC today. Ilya, Arkadiy, and Dilmurad will attempt to reach the North Col in bad weather, attempting to do what we did in good weather, acclimating as best as possible, given the circumstances. That is all that any of can do, as there is so much that is out of our control.

As we traveled down the Rongbuk East Glacier I watched the transformation from late winter to early spring. Glacier lakes are beginning to thaw, and the water flow has almost double just in the last few days. Further down, the thawed lakes that are near BC have turned from turquoise to deep ocean blue. Unbelievably pristine and cold...so beautiful to behold.

Coming into camp, most apparent was the temperatures. It seemed to be 70 degrees or more! It was hot, and I was wearing fleece and long underwear. At the main tent Luda, who is our base camp manager and the wife of Uri – who is across the moraine on the Russian National team attempting to scale Everest from the North Central Route – is there to greet me and give me a hug.

And now, I have just eaten, chicken (the best I ever had), and am settling into bed. I think about now, and the upcoming days when I will have a chance to relax and recover at a lower altitude, as we plan to go down to town, to Xegar. I have been here, at or above 17,000 feet, for somewhere close to a month. It will be good to go down to 13,780 feet—almost as high as Colorado Fourteeners—and recover, and hopefully regain some of my strength.

The North Col. Saturday, May 8, 2004

Lying on my side not even being able to turn, other than to lie on my other side, is certainly a confining feeling. And David, who is a bit more verbal about situations, announced somewhere around midnight that he was so frustrated that he was "leaving for camp two at two in the morning." And Dmitry telling David to move his feet because of the odor. And David's reply that, as if Dmitry complaining wasn't enough, he had just inadvertently drank from his urine bottle. (See David's story about the night on mounteverest.net.) What can I say? I don't know of any of the four of us that slept at all last night.

Blame and Anger

We tend to look for someone to blame for our misfortunes in life. So we voice our opinions, and later realize that possibly, just possibly, we should have "bit our tongue." It is kind of like sitting in the tent looking at one another, our faces drawn, with, as Alex would describe, "those big droopy blood hound eyes" that come from no sleep and high altitude. In my younger years I would probably have said something to someone about how they look. Now, I look around with empathy knowing that I look just as bad, or maybe worse. It is easy to laugh at others inappropriately and disregard ourselves, thinking that we couldn't possibly be like, or look like, that, etc. etc. Once again, a look in the mirror may reveal a lesson in humility.

And the anger that we all feel...where does that come from? After my divorce I spent literally weeks sitting in chair, by myself, trying to figure out where all my anger and frustration was coming from. I drew graphs and diagrams, and finally drew a circle with me in the center of it. The conclusion that I came to was that I am this individual and there are all of these external circumstances and people who are pulling me this way and that. This is the reality for all of us. Ultimately, though, we are responsible for our own behavior. So, where does this anger come from? I was desperate for an answer and all at once it became clear. "The anger comes from within me...and that anger is my inability to deal with my own inadequacies".

That explains a lot, and when I am angry, all I have to do is think about what inadequacy it is that I haven't come to terms with. So sitting in that tent listening, it made me realize that the long night had questions to be answered, and in our own feeble way we were trying to search through the questions and find just a few answers.

Above the North Col

After we arose (we were all awake anyway), we got ready and headed up to Camp 2. David reached 7,500 meters (24,606 feet), Dmitry just under, Artur maybe 7,400 (24,278 feet), and I may have reached 7,300 (23,950 feet).

I, for one, had had a lesson the day before in my limitations, and didn't want to force the issue. So, when I realized that continuing on may have done more harm than help, I decided to stop and turn around.

We regrouped at Camp 1 in the early afternoon and headed down to ABC, having accomplished, mostly, what we had envisioned. We were blessed with good weather for most of our climb, but now the winds were picking up. The forecast for the next week – at which time we will be resting at BC, or below – is for high winds and bad weather. We had just caught the window of opportunity. But, have we pushed too hard, squeezing in possibly too much too soon? Only time will tell. For now we are headed down to ABC for the night. Tomorrow we will continue down to BC and the comfort and security of air that a person can luxuriate in…as if the air at 17,000 feet even adequate.

ABC to Camp 1 – for the second time. Friday, May 7, 2004

So far our guess is good, as the weather looks good for climbing today. Last night I laid awake most of the night in a semi-conscious sleep pattern that allowed me two or three hours of somewhat restful sleep. I'm not sure what the solution, if any, is to sleeping at altitude; but sleep has certainly eluded me, for the most part, while up high. Even though it is cold, my sleeping bag and clothing is warm, so that is NOT the cause of my sleep problem. It is just so frustrating!

Control, Discomfort, and Blessings

This is an excellent training ground for breaking the control freaks of the world and reducing them to a more realistic status – the one in which I am striving to live in. Things up here test you. They are what they are, and if you cannot accept the conditions that exist, there is only one path, and that is the one that leads down into the comfort level that we are familiar with. For some, I guess staying in or quickly hurrying back to that comfort level is alright. But, I do believe "stepping out of that comfort zone" is where valuable lessons can be learned.

Then there are others who ask for nothing for themselves, give everything of themselves, yet seem to, by no choice of their own, be thrown into circumstances beyond their control. One example of this is my good friend Mark Macy and, in particular, his wife, Pam. Sometime ago (maybe 10 years or more) Pam was diagnosed with liver problems that required a liver transplant. That surgery was a success but, due to the anti-rejection drugs that she had to take, less than 2 years ago her kidneys started to fail, requiring her to have kidney transplant. One of her brothers donated a kidney (an amazing selfless act) and, after going through a rather difficult period of recovery and adjusting medications, she now seems to be doing fine.

That is the point of it all...Pam always seems to be doing fine. Yet, you know that there have been times when her body is screaming inside, rebelling, wanting a way out. But Pam doesn't disclose any of these of symptoms. She never complains. She just quietly goes on trying to make the world a better place in so many ways, including by raising one natural child, two adopted children, and welcoming foster children into her (and Mark's) home with open arms and an open heart. Her focus is NOT on herself, but others.

So, the sleep deprivation and circumstances here on Everest – which I have put myself into - seem very inconsequential and pale when I think of the bravery of those like Pam Macy...and then I have to stand back and count my blessing.

To the North Col
Leaving ABC this morning, my thoughts turned back to climbing and the North Col , heading to High Camp 1 at 23,000 feet. Would it be more difficult than the last time I was up there?

My question was answer shortly, as after about an hour of climbing up the steep grade, I would have to stop and rest every couple of minutes. This was not like the last time up. It was worse. (See the video on David's Web site, taken of us headed up to the North Col , then on to Camp 2 the next day. There is a shot of me headed up the North wall, at the very beginning, just after the one of David; then Artur, holding his arms up in an X  fashion; and then me hunched over, then looking up.)

As the hours wore on and I approached the top, it was nearly all that I could do to move over to the tent to sit down. It had taken me a full hour more to make the trip from ABC to High Camp 1 this time (for a total of about five-and-a-half hours) as compared to when I first made the trip on April 25…and I felt much worse!

I am losing my strength, and there doesn't seem to be anything that I can do about it…except go down.

The good news is that Dmitry, David, Artur, and I are here at High Camp 1 at the North Col , along with three of the Sherpas in a second tent. Vladimir is somewhere up above us, as he is on a different acclimation program. Last year he tried and failed to summit – without oxygen. This year his acclimatization program is much more aggressive. Today, he climbed to ABC with us, and then continued on. He is now above us, climbing to High Camp 2 (at 25,400 feet) in an attempt to set up a tent and sleep, up high, without oxygen.

The afternoon wore on and the four of us settled into the small tent, arranging things so as to accompany the four of us throughout the night. To our surprise, Vladimir appeared around seven o'clock and reported that he had tried to set up Camp 2 but the winds were too high, and he was unable to set up the tent by himself. So he was headed down to ABC to rest. Amazing: ABC, to Camp 1, to Camp 2, then back down to ABC…in one day!

Tomorrow

So far, our plan has worked out great. Weather has held and tomorrow is suppose to be good again. The plan is to try and get to 7,500 meters (24,606 feet) as our final acclimation climb, then return to ABC. After that we will have a long rest, followed by (weather and the mountain permitting!) a summit attempt.

The Sherpas also plan to climb to Camp 2 tomorrow and deposit another tent, more sleeping bags, and more oxygen for when we make our summit attempt.

I have an uneasy feeling about tomorrow, and what it might bring. Little did I know, it was the lingering night that would come to haunt me.

BC to ABC - for a third time. Thursday, May 6, 2004

Over the last few days, we've been checking the weather reports intently, as everyone in our team needs to make one more trip above the North Col (hopefully all the way up to High Camp 2 at 25,400 feet) before we are ready for a summit attempt.

On Tuesday, when I took my hike toward the north face of the mountain, we had intended to go down to a lower altitude and have a few rest days. In fact, we were scheduled to leave at 10 a.m. today. And, after checking the weather reports early this morning, we felt that we had made the right decision, as we weren't sure if there was time before the weather moved in to accomplish what we wanted: to get above the North Col as our final acclimation climb.

In addition to checking the weather, we also checked in with other camps that had had members up around the North Col in the last few days. We discovered that, if we made a quick "push" for Camp 2, that we maybe able to sneak in before the winds started on Sunday.

As I continue to learn—it all depends.

Off to ABC
Yesterday, Dmitry had already headed up to ABC. Around noon today, Artur, David, Vladimir, and I headed up. As I had done the long 5 to 6 hour somewhat strenuous hike above BC two days before (when I though thought we were all going to have a few rest days) I knew that accelerating the acclimatization process by a day or two may have consequences.

However, I also knew that it is important for us to make use of the predicted three or four day "window" of good weather to get above the North Col now because, if we loose this window, it could delay our summit attempts. This would mean loosing a margin of extra time that we hope to have, possibly forcing the issue: forcing us to climb for the summit in less desirable conditions.

Before leaving, I sent off a quick email to Heather telling her not to worry. That, for the next few days on the mountain we would be above ABC and, if she didn't hear from me, she shouldn't worry. That became my personal joke, as off and on as we were moving up the mountain I would remind myself, and suggest to the others that, because I sent that e-mail, it "must be so"—there was no need to worry. These are the mind games that I play in order to make things happen, if at all possible.

David and I made the rocky, 13-mile, almost 4,300-foot climb to ABC in about seven hours. A good time for traveling that distance on the trail, as it usually takes people eight to ten hours. I wasn't looking to travel quite so quickly, but it seemed the right thing to do at the time.

Learning More Lessons
When we arrived into ABC we ducked immediately into the mess tent, which now consisted of a 20- by 10-foot old army style tent. The large plus 50-foot yellow tent had been flattened a few days before in the high winds, and has not been repaired. As we rested there, I questioned, in my mind, whether we had traveled too fast as we were, after all, at 21,450 feet. Normally, we would take a rest day before heading up the North Col. But, because our schedule was now more aggressive because of the weather, we our plans were to move up to Camp 1 at the North Col tomorrow.

I am learning that there is a huge difference in altitudes around and above 20,000 feet. Traditionally, I am used to doing a hard work out followed by an easy day, or even a rest day. Up here, I am finding that it takes two-and-a-half to three times more recovery time, and that it is merely delaying the inevitable. Realistically, one just gets weaker and weaker and looses their strength and ability to move effectively (relatively speaking, of course given the altitude).

So, as I head back to my tent, I am painfully aware of the night temperatures being 15 to 25 degrees colder than below at 17,160-foot BC. The tent is just as I left it a few days before: cold, lonely, confining, and desolate. I slip into my bag, hoping that I will be blessed with sleep that has, once again, eluded me the past couple of days. In many ways, I am almost afraid to fall into a deep sleep as surrealistic frightening dreams are the double edged sword that I must deal with as a consequence.

BC...Patience, Patience. Wednesday, May 5, 2004

As more than one Everest climber and friend has told me, patience is one of the keys to climbing Mount Everest. What I can say, from my personal experience is: that IS the absolute truth. It's all about patience.

Since yesterday, we have been talking about going down from BC, or maybe staying here another day, or maybe going up tomorrow or the next day to ABC. "It all depends." Those are the key words. It depends upon the weather, it depends on how you feel, it depends on whether or not the jeep you ordered yesterday, or the day before, will indeed show up.

Things here at BC move slowly...just as traveling up the mountain is a slow process.

Move slowly and you get the benefits of acclimation. Move too quickly and you loose physical strength. The same applies with spending too much time above 20,000 feet. For acclimatization it is fine; but, the double edged sword and come up to strike you if you weaken too much.

So, Everest is a different world to me. I feel like I should be doing something more when I am doing nothing. But, in my heart, I know that doing nothing is training – and gaining strength lost when up high busting ass.

Normally, training everyday (or nearly everyday) is beneficial as long as one does not overdo. Here the rules are different and hard to understand. It is all about balance. Balance physical effort with rest and balance altitude acclimation with low altitude recovery.

Then, I think to myself: this is not much different than real life. Take too much time doing one thing in one area—such as work, home, or play—and the other areas suffer. We all strive to have that perfect balance that is healthy for us and all of those around us. Just as climbing the mountain, it is hard to see what the real "key" or "secret" to it all might be. That balance. That elusive balance that we all long for.

And then, to make it even harder, we get so wrapped up in what we are doing, thinking that it is the right and proper thing to do, that it "clouds the issue" even further—just as the clouds obscure the top of Everest. So at times we blindly take a stab at acquiring that "divine knowledge" or balance in our lives. It's just all part of the human condition. Perhaps there is no right answer, but simply elusive dreams of how it really, ideally, should be.

So, for today, we sit and listen to the wind blow, and for the sound of the jeep which may take us down to a lower elevation and recovery. Or maybe…

It all depends.

Archived News

For news from the final summit push (May 17 through May 25), return to the Mountain News page.

For news from Everest for April 21 through May 4, see the Archived News-April 21-May4 page.

For news from Marshall for April 18th through April 20th, as well as updates from Heather for April 21st-22nd, 25th, and 28th, see the Archived News-April-18-20 plus Heather's updates page.

For news from Marshall for April 11th through April 17th, see the Archived News-April-11-17 page.

For news from Marshall for April 5th through April 10th, see the Archived News-April4-10 page.